tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033277760691204926.post1358776308453889699..comments2024-02-15T07:02:58.773-05:00Comments on Closet Space Musings: Angst and Autism…Jeni Deckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06389728975568397450noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033277760691204926.post-27581309607587570902012-10-24T12:05:32.860-04:002012-10-24T12:05:32.860-04:00Jeni,
I'm having a hard time today and your p...Jeni,<br /><br />I'm having a hard time today and your post made me cry but it also made me happy that you are there for your boys and that you care so much!<br /><br />I am like your Jake. And I have been alone in this world since I was a teenager. I won't lie about how hard it's been. I spent a lot of time homeless and would have starved if an old homeless guy with a leathery face from years of exposure to the elements hadn't taught me how to eat out of dumpsters. Cliff saved my life.<br /><br />Now I'm on SSI and it's a real struggle because that's an income below the poverty threshhold, but I haven't been homeless in the 19 years since I was able to get on government assistance. It took me three tries to get on SSI because the first two times I was in such a bad way that I couldn't follow up on the paperwork -- I'd end up homeless again and too focused on basic survival to go back to the office and let them know that they couldn't contact me where I used to live.<br /><br />Once I did manage to follow through on the paperwork, though, I was an "open and shut case." I had SSI in less than two months - no denial, no appeal. They looked at my life and said, "here."<br /> <br />Now I'm 45 years old and in graduate school. I'm seriously floundering and at the moment it doesn't look like I'm going to get my degree. And I still haven't held onto a job so I'm really nervous about whether school has increased my prospects or not. I need supports I'm not getting and I need accommodations I can't figure out how to get or who to ask. <br /><br />But the bottom line is that I have survived. I have made it this far. My whole life is "up in the air" right now but I know I'm going to continue to survive and, one way or another way, it's all going to be okay.<br /><br />And this is me doing it alone. Jake has you. Yes, you will die someday. But you're still here now and you're not planning to just kick him out of the "nest" to fend for himself. You are going to continue to support and help him as long as you can. Jake is going to be okay. One way or another way, Jake is going to be okay.<br /><br />And the whole point of me sitting here telling you my life story and how it's still shaky but mostly having a happy ending is to tell you the part that makes me happy. It makes me happy to read how much you care and how you are there for Jake. It makes me happy to read the words of a mother who isn't going to just let her kid eat out of dumpsters an dcall it "tough love." It makes me happy to read the words of a mother who sees her child's vulnerability and cares and won't abandon him because of it.<br /><br />You make me happy. You are a good mother. Thank you for being that. When I read the words of people like you, it's easier for me to remember that the world is not all bad. It's easier for me to remember that the world is just hard but there are good people in it.<br /><br />Thank you. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033277760691204926.post-83948985902866594262011-08-03T02:08:34.152-04:002011-08-03T02:08:34.152-04:00Well, you have me bawling as you sometimes do. Y...Well, you have me bawling as you sometimes do. You make me laugh my ass off everyday and occasionally you make my heart ache. That's why you're my favorite writer. Yes, you've jumped over Christopher Moore. And you need to get the hell over thinking David Sedaris would be pissed at any comparison between the two of you. He'd love this post and would be honored at the comparison. Remember, David and I are best friends. If you ever feel the urge to freak Jake out, give him a hug from Kat. That should do it.Kat Novehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00309985383301605900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033277760691204926.post-31708227412754313072011-07-24T12:34:56.911-04:002011-07-24T12:34:56.911-04:00The worst thing about being a parent has to be the...The worst thing about being a parent has to be the fact you can't protect your kids from everything.<br /><br />They will be hurt sometimes. They'll be weak. They'll be strong. <br /><br />All you can do is give him the best skills for survival you can, put a contact person or legal person in will to make legal decisions after your death. Make a pre-plan. Make a back up plan with two or three people who can help him make decisions on legal/medical issues if he needs it.<br /><br />Do it LONG before you die so that this person is familiar and he's practiced the plan.<br /><br />He'll have to aid your younger one. And perhaps that will help him, helping someone else.<br /><br />Life isn't perfect. All anyone can do is the best they can do.<br /><br />Not all group homes suck. Many do but not all. <br /><br />All you can do is the best you can do.TirzahLaughshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06505559474373463632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033277760691204926.post-51905034963776425462011-07-19T14:11:50.662-04:002011-07-19T14:11:50.662-04:00Wow that was an impressive heartbreaking post. I t...Wow that was an impressive heartbreaking post. I think about it with Junior. It is so difficult for them. My guy is only 4 but I have heard kids say they don't want to play with him because he is "different". It breaks my heart to see him keep trying. We too laugh at the stuff that goes on. Finding the humor in it keeps me sane.Franceshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17114377975088727480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033277760691204926.post-58832464459725763432011-07-19T10:44:32.251-04:002011-07-19T10:44:32.251-04:00See, I knew I wasn't alone out there, Lou - so...See, I knew I wasn't alone out there, Lou - so even though our realities are still frightening, we're not alone.<br /><br />Jake was happy and content the next day, his moods vary and I feel like it's my JOB to keep it light and set the tone for the house. I don't want it to get too 'heavy' for what he's able to process. As far as I'm concerned, a day without laughter - even laughing AT the autism - is a wasted day. Those who say there's nothing funny about autism don't have my kids! We laugh all the time!<br /><br />Thing is, we only have today for a little while, and none of us are promised tomorrow so I never want to waste any day NOT laughing when I could have laughed!!!<br /><br />Jeni Decker~<br /><br />Good luck! And thanks Clairissa. You're always so supportive! ;)<br /><br />DON'T KNOW WHY BLOGSPOT IS MAKING EVERYONE, EVEN ME! SIGN IN AS ANONYMOUS TODAY... WEIRD!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033277760691204926.post-66461903760305841242011-07-19T05:18:39.248-04:002011-07-19T05:18:39.248-04:00Hi Jeni!
I found you!
Your above post has made me ...Hi Jeni!<br />I found you!<br />Your above post has made me cry. Im sad. sad.sad. You just highlighted for me, in one paragraph, what my son must be feeling and I didn't have a clue. *more crying*<br />they have trouble 'seeing' outside their own mind and world.<br />Thanks so much for posting his letter! my son wouldn't even be able to write anything to say how he is feeling. <br /><br />xx *hugs* Lou<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I see I can buy your books now! Yay!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033277760691204926.post-65785221362941591922011-07-18T14:10:47.366-04:002011-07-18T14:10:47.366-04:00That is so sad. I've had a talk like that with...That is so sad. I've had a talk like that with my son and it wasn't easy. He doesn't suffer from autism and it was hard. I like how you're very positive about things.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12160669603997465454noreply@blogger.com