Thursday, September 17, 2009

Spam and Junk/Joke E-mails

I don't normally open junk e-mails. You know the ones your grannie sends you-jokes only she thinks are funny, or letters from someone supposedly in Mumbai wanting you to help them with a money issue. Something like:

"Before I became Ill, I kept $46.5 million in a long-term deposit account in a security company. Presently, I am in hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer. I have lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live. It is my last wish to see this money distributed to charity organizations"...

Or those chain mail things that you simply MUST respond to, and forward to fifty of your friends or you will die.

Anyway, yesterday I opened one, and enjoyed the hell out of it. I have no idea who the original author was, but I thought I'd share...


My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big, scary plane shortly. So, lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking Woman hadn't moved a muscle.

"'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines, but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. And I take orders from no one."

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. So put your fucking tray up, bitch."