Monday, June 21, 2010

Mike Huckabee is a Tool.

I cannot for the life of me believe some of the utter windbags that managed to fly so close to the Presidential Flame.

Can you say John Edwards? Ugh, the guy had me fooled. I would probably have voted for him and his ridiculously overpriced haircut—only to later learn that he not only cheated on his wife with a woman who proved to be a tool in her own right, but did so while his wife dealt with terminal cancer.

Image Hosting by


Then there’s Mike Huckabee.

Image Hosting by

Ah, Mr. Huckabee, who came off so folksy and sweet—until he started saying shit like this:

“It is now difficult to keep track of the vast array of publicly endorsed and institutionally supported aberrations—from homosexuality and pedophilia to sadomasochism and necrophilia.”

“I think there’s been a real level of being disingenuous on the part of the gay and lesbian community with their goal of civil unions. You don’t go ahead and accommodate every behavioral pattern that is against the ideal. That would be like saying, well, there are a lot of people who like to use drugs, so let’s go ahead and accommodate those who want who use drugs. There are some people who believe in incest, so we should accommodate them. There are people who believe in polygamy, so we should accommodate them. Children are not puppies. This is not a time to see if we can experiment and find out, how does this work?”


Now, according to an article in the Advocate, we learn the former Presidential Candidate cites an ‘ick factor’ as part of his reasoning for being against gay marriage.

In an e-mail exchange with the author of the article, he ‘joked’:

‘The only thing worse than a torrid affair with sweet, sweet Nancy(Pelosi) would be a torrid affair with Helen Thomas. If those were my only options, I'd probably be FOR same-sex marriage!’”

Image Hosting by

Image Hosting by

Ick factor, huh? Mike, I’m glad you didn’t become president. Because you’re icky. Really icky. (Not that I’m particularly fond of Nancy or Helen. Both have managed to tickle the sensitive gag-reflex of my personal ‘ick factor’ as of late.)

People like Huckabee and Leon Kass, former member of George Bush’s counsel on bioethics, became the ‘stimulating factors’ for my desire to write The Wisdom of Repugnance. (My as yet unpublished dark comedy exploring this 'internal shudder' we all supposedly have.)

Let’s explore this ‘ick’ factor. The term wisdom of repugnance, or the ‘yuck factor’ basically describes the belief that an inherent negative response to some thing, idea or practice should be interpreted as evidence that the thing in question is harmful…evil. Supposedly this ‘wisdom’ brings on feelings of disgust that should intuitively tell the person that the object of said disgust is morally wrong.

Mr. Kass’s comments against cloning-- “we intuit and feel, immediately and without argument, the violation of things that we rightfully hold dear.... Shallow are the souls that have forgotten how to shudder.”

Oh, I’m shuddering, Leon. I’m shuddering. According to your ‘theory’ if I’m repulsed by leaders of the free world who are unable to pronounce the word nuclear, George Dubya Bush MUST, then, be deemed amoral.

Okey dokey, works for me, Mr. Kass.

What this ‘theory’ fails to address is that my sense of repugnance at something might not equal or even mirror your sense of repugnance. Too many of our talking heads, politicians and religious zealots (SEE: Pat Robertson) with microphones and a pulpit from which to blather, seem to think that their personal sense of repugnance should be the standard the rest of us must adhere to. Unfortunately, these same folks all end up filtering over to Fox News, where they’re given a national stage from which to preach. (I guess the separation of church and state has gone by the wayside.)

Sigh. I long for the heady days when the only thing of import I was being ‘icked-out’ about was a Presidential blow job.

Mr. Huckabee, you are a tool. I find you repugnant. You and others like you cause me to shudder. Riddle me this: What remedy, then, am I to expect with regard to stupid comments that fly out of your mouth? (Water-boarding would work for me.)

Perhaps you should just shut up and worry about your own ‘ick factor’.

I think the Marquis de Sade said it most eloquently --

There is nothing either fundamentally good, nor anything fundamentally evil: Everything is relative, relative to ones own point of view. …something perfectly indifferent in itself may be indeed distasteful in your eyes, but most delicious in mine: and immediately I find it pleasing… amusing. Regardless of our inability to agree… would I not be a fool to deprive myself of it merely Because you condemn it?

--The Marquis de Sade, The 120 Days of Sodom

Saturday, June 12, 2010

BP Spills Coffee

Lazy blogger here again. Okay so I have an excuse. I’m in the middle of writing another book and there aren’t enough hours in the day to write, edit, Photoshop, deal with two children who are off for summer break and get in at least a bit of reading so I don’t totally lose my mind.

Now, first thing’s first. There’s nothing funny about the recent BP OIL F$%KTASTROPHY.

Truly, lives are being ruined as we speak due to a one/two punch to the Louisiana area that nobody deserves (With the possible exception of Karl Rove) and the eco-system is being damaged beyond repair. Let’s be realistic, there’s not a thing in the world that I, you, BP, Obama or Kevin Costner is going to be able to do to fix this thing. It’s not fixable. We’re at the damage control stage and even that seems an oxymoron at this point.

That said, being a writer, I believe there’s no topic that can’t be used to comedic advantage — or at least as a band-aid to keep us from slitting our wrists in angst for another day.

If you don't believe me, ask any stand-up comedian. They'll tell you that the marriage of any truly horrifying incident with the ability to make said incident palatable, or even entertaining to someone else, is a rare gift.

This is why I watch Jon Stewart regularly. I still get the bullet points, but I also get to laugh while Mr. Stewart rips someone a new one in the pithy way only he can do. Sometimes it’s too painful to tune in to CNN or MSNB, and I think every forward-thinking person in the free world knows it’s always painful to tune in to FOX News.

Today I offer up a video from the good folks at UCB, who felt like taking a stab at the Oil Spill Crisis.